All These Words on Replay
by thatgleekychick
Summary: When looking back at the past, makes your future better..would you do it?
1. Chapter 1

-1A/N: I haven't written fan fiction in a really long time. So this is obviously my first Glee fic. So let me know how I'm doing. I was too anxious to get this out before my Beta could read it so there are more than likely some errors. And I guess it must be said that I own nothing, not Glee, not the song.

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Saturday morning Rachel was up in her room practicing the latest song that Mr. Shuester had assigned the Glee club. She was pouring her emotions into the words and didn't notice as the doorbell rang. She continued to sing until whoever it was rang it continuously until Rachel finally loses her concentration. She sighed heavily before running down the stairs. Her fathers were both out for the day and whoever was on the other side of the door was very anxious to be greeted. She smoothed her skirt and opened the door. Puck stood on her porch, wrapped in his letterman jacket, his hands buried deep inside the pocket.

"Noah, what are you doing here?" Puck was the last person that Rachel had expected.

"I…uh…I think I left one of my t-shirts here. The last time I remember having it was when we were…you know...and now I can't find it. I think it may have fallen out of my bag or something. I normally wouldn't care, but it was one of my favorites."

"Come inside. I'll run up and take a look."

Rachel moved aside so that Puck could entire her house without a word. Rachel shut her front door and ran up in her room. She knew exactly where the shirt was. But when Rachel got into her room, she sat down on her bed, her feet dangling off the side. She took a deep breath. Then Rachel reached under the pile of pillows at the head of her bed and pulled out the shirt. It was grey with red lettering that said "William McKinley High School" on it. She had found it after she had gotten home from their discussion on the bleachers. The same discussion in which she learned that she was coming in second to Quinn Fabray yet again. That was weeks ago, but as she lifted the shirt from its hiding place, she lifted it to her face, the same she had when she first discovered it. The scent had begun to disappear but it lingered. Rachel couldn't really describe the smell; it was a mixture of his cologne and something that was unique to Noah. Every night, she took it out for just a moment and held it, enveloping herself in the familiarity and peace that it brought to her. She eventually realized that Noah was still waiting downstairs and taking the scent in a final time she hurried back downstairs.

Downstairs Puck had stood patiently, looking around. He'd been in the Berry house on several occasions when he and Rachel were dating, so there was nothing new, but he still marveled in the way everything laid perfectly. As if everything inside was given a set place, never to be moved. He always looked at the pictures of Rachel and her fathers that plastered the perfectly painted white walls. He smiled seeing Rachel in her many costumes, at different ages, each reminding him of the Rachel she had become. When he heard Rachel coming down the stairs he quickly focused his attention on her, more specifically on the way her hair bounced on her shoulders and her skirt bounced against her legs. He smirked as Rachel stopped just before getting to the bottom.

"I assume this belongs to you, "she said holding the shirt up against herself, modeling it for him and Puck couldn't help but smile.

Rachel tossed the shirt at him.

"Thanks," Puck said, "I was beginning to think I'd never see it again."

"Yeah, I'm surprised I didn't find it sooner," Rachel lied twisting the ends of her hair as she looked at him.

An eerie silence fell over the two, but Puck couldn't help but look at her. Their eyes met and as Puck looked into her brown eyes, he felt something inside him fluttered.

"So, yeah," Puck said burying his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket, "Thanks again Berry. I'll see you on Monday."

"Yes, of course." Rachel said descending the last of the stairs to open the door as Puck gave her one final look and walked out of the house.

Walking to his truck Puck examined the shirt in his hand, it was a little wrinkled, but it seemed to be in the same condition in which he had left it. He opened the door and threw the shirt across the seat but as he did whiff of something sweet. He got into the truck, picked the shirt back up, and held it to his face. The smell of his cologne was buried underneath the strong smell of vanilla. Rachel always smelled like vanilla.

~~~~*~~~~

Every day during lunch, Puck sneaks into the back of the auditorium, sits down in a dark corner and listens to Rachel sing. Monday was no exception. He rarely ever watches her, maybe only for a second until he settles on the floor. He started doing this after he found out Quinn was pregnant and he used the time to get his thoughts in order. He hadn't intended to be an intruder but it was the only place he thought no one would find him. He needed to be alone and it was the first place he found to hide. He sat down in the back row and just stared at the stage. He didn't know at that point that he would be on it with the rest of the Glee club so soon after. When Puck had heard Rachel come in, he scurried to the wings and as she started singing, Puck relaxed into himself. There was something about Rachel's voice that calmed him, all the traffic in his head seemed to disappear, or at least move in a much more organized manner. Today, he heard her come into the auditorium, set her ihome on top of the piano, and start something up. Puck listened as the sound of the instrumental filled the auditorium and he settled back to get lost in his thoughts at the same moment Rachel's voice flooded the auditorium _"Oh it's deafening, the bitter truth. I'm doing everything for the first time again without you. I pretend I'm okay, But it aches inside. There's got to be a way that's better than just getting by."_

Puck knew that he needed to find some way to get Quinn to let him be part of his baby's life. But he didn't know what else to do. He had already tried giving her money, he had offered her everything he had but she still continued to push him away. He wouldn't even allow himself to imagine what would happen when Finn found out that the baby inside his girlfriend belonged to his best friend. He hated himself every day for letting things with Quinn happen as they did. It was only a matter of time before everything imploded around him and he knew he would be left standing alone. Quinn had chosen Finn a long time ago and even when everything was out there, Puck didn't see Quinn wanting the family he did. He listened for a moment as Rachel's voice filled his head again. He thought back to the day on the bleachers. Rachel was so sure that the reason Puck looked at Quinn was that he liked her. The truth was he couldn't stand her most of the time, but she was the mother of his child and he was looking at her trying to find out a way to be close to his baby, not to her. Rachel had been so adamant about ending the relationship, that he didn't have it in him to beg her to stay. _"Tell me how I'm gonna make it, you're the one I can't forget. It's like I'm running in slow motion in a nightmare that never ends. When I try to face it when I wake up, I hate the way reality sets in. God, I wish you could hold me through the seven days of lonely."_ Rachel's words washed over him and he remembered Saturday, the way her hair fell, the way his eyes locked with hers. He laughed a little remembering how she had modeled the shirt for him from the staircase, and how when he got it in the car, it smelled like she did. He was wearing the shirt now, and it still smelled like the sweet vanilla it had. He felt that same odd flutter inside himself and jumped to his feet. Rachel had finished singing and was packing up. Puck walked out of the auditorium.

Rachel always felt better after she sang. And the song choice definitely fit her emotions right now, but even now after she had finished, the ache inside her hadn't gone away completely. She thought about singing another song, but she knew that it wasn't going to help. She had felt this way after singing for a few weeks. Sure, while she was singing she was happy, there was no doubt about that. But it was like the moment the music stopped, there was nothing but ache and a void she tried hard to fill. Rachel put her music and her ipod back into her bag and headed outside the auditorium, her fathers would be there to pick her shortly and she still had to stop and get a few things from her locker.

The doors of the auditorium hadn't even closed when she felt someone pulling on her arm. She let out a startled scream and jumped away, but calmed herself when she saw that it was Puck who had his hand tightly clasped to the crook of her elbow.

"Noah, what are you doing?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Then all you had to do was inquire for my time. There was no need for this ambush."

"Come with me,"

"What? Where? Now?"

"After school. Meet me at my truck."

"My fathers are picking me up today."

"Call them and tell them you're doing some Glee thing. I'll drive you home."

"Noah…"

"Look, I would understand if you turn me down. I just, I need…"

"I'll be there." She said interrupting, "See you after school."

Puck hadn't noticed that his hand was still on Rachel's arm until she turned around and walked away down the hall. Rachel was confused yet she noticed that the ache she had felt for the last couple of weeks was not as strong, and she smiled. She had no idea what Noah Puckerman wanted to talk to her about. He had made it clear that they were not friends. But she made a promise to herself as he walked away that day on the bleachers; if Noah ever changed his mind, she was going to be there for him.

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A/N: The song is "Seven Days of Lonely" by I Nine


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I can't begin to even tell you how overwhelmingly appreciative I am of everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts. Thank you! And please read and review, I want to know what everyone thinks. Again I don't own Glee, or the songs used in this story.

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The final bell had rung fifteen minutes ago and Puck was leaning against his truck, waiting for Rachel. He knew from the couple of times that he had driven her home before that he shouldn't have taken her this long to get to the parking lot. _Maybe she changed her mind…_Puck thought. The thought relieved Puck because honestly he had no idea what he was going to say to Rachel if she did show up. What was he suppose to tell her? All Puck knew is that he needed to talk to her, about feelings. He knew Rachel could do feelings; she was after all a girl. But this was him he was talking about. He didn't do feelings, he didn't do relationships and he sure as hell didn't do whatever he was about to do now, if Rachel ever showed up.

~~~~*~~~~

Inside the school, Rachel stood at her locker. She had already put all of the books she needed into her bag and had called her Dads to let them know she was getting a ride home from someone in Glee. She was happy that they didn't ask who because right now, Rachel wasn't sure who it would be. Instead, they told her they were going to be going out for a while and would be home later in the evening. She knew that Noah was waiting, maybe, for her out in the parking lot but for some reason she couldn't manage to make her feet move. She had wanted this attention, whatever it was, from Noah since he walked away from the football field, but now she didn't know what he was doing. While they were never anything but civil towards each other, Rachel saw absolutely no reason for him to want to talk to her. And what about? What could he possibly have to say to her? But something deep inside Rachel made her take the first step towards the parking lot. It would kill her to not know what he wanted, and she needed him to drive her home.

~~~~*~~~~

Puck was about to give up on Rachel even showing up. The parking lot was completely empty with the exception of a few cars he assumed belonged to teachers. The door to the school opened and a few students walked out, but the door closed again without Rachel. He threw his bag into the bed of his truck and opened the door. He was about to climb in before he heard someone calling his name.

"Noah!" Puck turned to see Rachel walking quickly towards him.

"Where have you been Berry?" Puck sounded angrier than he really was.

"I'm sorry for my tardiness; I…had something I needed to take care of."

"It's alright; let me take your bag." Puck said reaching his hand out. Rachel hesitated for a second before handing him her pink book bag. Puck threw it in the bed of the truck with his own and Rachel gave him a look. Once while they were dating Puck made the same move and Rachel was sure to give him a speech about the importance keeping in tact any property that was not his own. Rachel mentally made a note of his indiscretion but walked over to the passenger's side of the vehicle. He was right behind her opening the door and offering his arm to help hoist her into the monstrous automobile. She gladly accepted his chivalrous gesture and let it erase his behavior with her backpack. She always loved to see how Noah worked. One moment he was Puck. He was the cocky jock who felt that he could manipulate anyone through fear; Puck threw slushies in Rachel's face. The next moment, he was Noah. It was when they were together that Rachel first got her glimpse at the kindness in Noah. He helped her into the car, sometimes even held a door or two open for her. They weren't together long but there were changes in his behavior that Rachel definitely enjoyed. She remembered that he had been Noah when she arrived on the bleachers and Puck when he walked away. Rachel was so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't even realized Puck was in the car until the engine roared to life.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked.

Puck threw the car into drive and took off onto the streets of Lima. How was he supposed to give Rachel an answer when he didn't even know himself? He just continued to focus on the road, ignoring her until he could.

"Noah?" Puck couldn't expect Rachel of all people to just stay quiet. "Where are you taking me? I agreed to go with you for heaven knows what reason and now you're just going to drive around ignoring me?"

Puck looked at her and then back at the road. His mouth opened and closed, and then repeated the same action a few more times. Rachel was getting impatient. Here she was in Noah's truck driving around aimlessly and he couldn't even look at her for more than a second or even tell her where she was going.

"Noah, could you please just take me home then. This was obviously a bad idea to d-"

"The shirt," Puck said his eyes still on the road.

"What?"

"The shirt, the one I came to pick up from you on Saturday. It-It smelled like you."

Rachel froze. What did he want? Did her want her to confess that she held that shirt close to her almost every night since she found it? Did he want her to admit that on nights when she felt completely alone, she used it to fill some of the void inside her?

"Oh?" was all she was able to get to escape her lips.

"Did you wear it?"

"No," it was the truth, "Look Noah, I'm sorry if you're upset that my scent made its way to your clothing. I'm sure a run through a washing machine will cure that. "

"I'm not upset."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

Puck didn't say another word but pulled his car to the curb in front of a park. He threw the vehicle into park and turned to look at Rachel. What was he going to do? Tell her the truth? But about what? Quinn? The baby? She would surely run straight to Finn and everything would come crashing down on him. What was worse was that Puck knew that Rachel would hate him when he found out about Quinn. Maybe he could get away with just telling her that he never wanted Quinn, that he just let her believe that he did to protect him. That was it…that's all he had to do. The whole Quinn issue could wait for another day. He was looking at her sitting across from him. He hair falling on her face and Puck used his will power (since when did he have any around girls?) not to brush it from her cheek and put it behind her ear. Her eyes were big and beautiful even though they were giving him a confused look. Her lips pressed together, held an emotion that matched up eyes and even then, Puck couldn't help but remember what it was to kiss those lips.

"Noah, really? Are you going to sit there and stare at me or are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?"

He shook himself from his thoughts, "Sorry, uh…what would you say if I told you that you were wrong that afternoon on the bleachers? What if I told you that I didn't like Quinn?"

"Why wouldn't you just tell me then?"

"Because you were dumping me. Begging isn't exactly in my arsenal of studly moves Berry."

"But what does that mean? Why would you tell me this now?"

"Because," he said moving closer to her, grabbing her hands from her lap. _You got this Puckerman_-he reminded himself, "I thought maybe, you might change your mind about us not working out."

Puck watched as Rachel's eyes went from confused to out right shocked. Inside, Rachel's head was spinning. Rachel had imagined this conversation for weeks, and now everything she dreamed she would say, and at this moment, she couldn't remember any of it. Puck used her silence to continue.

"I mean," he started, he had forgotten one important element "if there was no Finn, just us."

"Are we speaking in hypotheticals?"

"I don't know…yes. No. Both."

"There is no Finn,"

"But you said-"

"I wasn't lying, but I just realized that you were right. He and Quinn were never going to break up as long as she's pregnant. And it isn't not worth all the pain. He and I are better as friends."

Puck looked down noticing that his and Rachel's hands were still in her lap, fingers entwined together. Through all of this, neither of them had felt the need to pull away and Puck was grateful for that. With her hands firmly grasped in his right hand, he reached his left hand up to cup her cheek. Puck felt a new confidence when she didn't pull away. He leaned forward, slowly covering the distance that was between them. His lips hovered over hers and felt a jolt when Rachel closed the distance between them. Puck smiled against Rachel's lips as he felt her arms run up his arm and wrap around his neck. Puck's hands moved up her thighs, over her short skirt, until they settled tightly around Rachel's waist, pulling her onto his lap. Puck remembered the last time Rachel had been on his lap. It was in the locker room after some idiot decided to give him a slushie facial. He remembered the pressure as she kissed his forehead after she had tried to break things off with her again, and how much he missed her when she got up and walked out of the room. But now Puck focused on the Rachel now, the Rachel in his lap, the Rachel running her fingers through his Mohawk, the Rachel driving him crazy, but in a good way. He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, his tongue begging for entrance into her mouth, to be able to kiss her the way he wanted to.

Rachel let him in; this was what she had wanted. She wanted Noah to come back to her, she wanted to be number one in some boy's life, and she was happy that Noah had chosen her. She remembered that Noah always responded positively when she played with the hair at the bottom of his Mohawk and now she traced it and felt his arms tighten around her waist. Rachel thought about how now all the obstacles that had plagued them before were gone. Quinn was nothing more than a defense mechanism for Puck; it didn't explain the way Puck had looked at her, but right now, with his hands tracing her spine from outside her shirt from the base of her neck to just above her bottom. Chills ran through her as if Puck's hands had been ice and her shirt had not been there. Puck's hands were like fire against her, and she also made a mental note of his resistance of her boundaries. Against Puck's wishes, Rachel pulled away, her breathing heavy, but matching his own. They sat there in the middle of the seat looking only at each other's eyes and Puck felt that like everything was beginning to fall into place. Rachel looked over at the clock in the truck. It was almost five and Rachel remembers that she promised that she would have dinner ready before they got home. She looked over at Puck once more and gave him a quick kiss.

"I need to get home,"

Puck nodded and Rachel climbed off of his lap. Puck moved over to start the truck back up grabbing hold of Rachel's hand firmly after throwing the car into drive. Rachel reached over and turned on the radio, relishing in the heat coming from Noah's hand. Rachel laughed as "I Should Tell You" from the RENT soundtrack came in through the speakers.

"What?" Puck said.

"RENT?"

"Mr. Shue assigned that Broadway project for Glee, and someone told me there was a badass Jew in it."

"I wouldn't exactly call Mark, badass; he ends up alone."

Puck brushed off his minds desire to make connections between the character in himself. Rachel sank into the seat of the truck, he hand still firmly positioned in Noah's and she couldn't help but smile. She wasn't sure exactly whatever everything that just happened meant, but she had to trust that everything was going to be alright.

_"I Should Tell You" _sang Mimi and Rachel couldn't help but recognize this as the movie soundtrack and made a note to make sure he saw the Broadway production she had on DVD.

They arrived at her house just as the lovers in the song had gotten together, _"Trusting Desire - Starting To Learn. Walking Through Fire without a Burn. Clinging - A Shoulder, A Leap Begins Stinging and Older, Asleep On Pins… So Here We Go"_

"Tell me a secret," Rachel said as Puck threw the car into park.

"What?"

"Humor me. Tell me a secret."

Was he really doing this to her? She was basically feeding him an opportunity to tell her everything. Maybe she wouldn't take it as bad as he imagined. Even Roger and Mimi in RENT were able to tell each other their deepest secret and in the end fall crazier in love than they already were.

"My favorite color is green." He said.

"Noah! I mean a real secret."

"Then you have to tell me one,"

Rachel nodded.

"Quinn's pregnant," he said.

"Noah, that's not a -"

"With my baby."

Rachel froze for the second time since she had gotten into Noah's truck. Puck looked at her and saw the sparkle that had just been in her eyes replaced with hurt and betrayal, both of which were his doing. _This changed everything _Rachel thought as she felt the tears well in her eyes and she promised that Puck would not see her cry. She hated herself for letting him kiss her; he hated her for kissing her.

"Rachel, say something please," Puck said reaching for her hand.

Rachel felt his hot fingers touch her skin and pulled away.

"I haven't changed my mind. We still would never work out," Rachel moved to the door before practically falling out of the truck. She managed to grab her book bag out of the bed of the truck and hurried into her house.

From the curb Puck sighed against back of the seat, then lunged himself forward, his hand slamming into the steering wheel. _"Your eyes, as we said our goodbyes, can't get them out of my mind, and I find, I can't hide, from your eyes. The ones that took me by surprise, the night you came into my life, where there's moonlight, I see your eyes." _sang Roger from the stereo and Puck was quick to turn it off.

Puck pulled out his phone and found Rachel's number. He didn't think she would answer if he called right now so he sent her a text. _I didn't tell you that to hurt you. I'm sorry. I was just being honest with you. _

When his phone went off Puck nearly dropped his phone trying to open it. _I'm sorry too. _ Was all it said.

Puck threw his phone into the seat of the car and drove home.

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"_I Should Tell You" _and _"Your Eyes" _both are from RENT!


	3. Chapter 3

-1A/N: So this took a lot longer to write than I had planned. I had a hard time coming up with how to end this, so if it seems a little shaky, it is. I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed or added this story to their alerts. The response is greatly appreciated and it definitely fuels my urge to write more. Please continue (or start) to R&R!

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It had been a week since Rachel had left Puck in his car. A week since Puck had told her the truth about Quinn. _What the hell was I thinking? _Puck asked himself daily. When Rachel told him to tell her a secret, she meant what songs he sang in the shower, or how he danced around his room playing the air guitar to that Bon Jovi song they did for Glee. Never had Rachel intended for Puck to reveal his deepest darkest secret to her. But he needed to come clean with her. If he was going to be with her again, she needed to know. Because he knew that it would have hurt a hell of a lot more for both of them if she had run out on him in a few weeks, or months, or whenever the shit hit fan on what Mercedes called baby-gate. _She would have hated me more for lying _Puck had convinced himself.

At school, nothing on the outside had changed. Puck still ignored Rachel; Rachel still ignored Puck. It had been like that since they broke up. But if any of the student body were paying attention, they would have noticed the stolen looks and the painful eyes that added to the silence. Every time Puck saw Rachel, something inside him tightened. It hurt. Rachel would look him in the eye and he would see nothing but pain, pain he had caused. Puck wished that Rachel had answered any of the text messages he sent the first couple of days after he told her. He tried to make her just listen and he wanted her to allow him to explain. He wanted Rachel to know how he felt. He couldn't blame her for running away; he just hoped she wouldn't say anything to Finn. But all his messages went unanswered.

Rachel had no idea how hard it was for Puck to tell her those things. But Puck knew how Rachel felt. Just because she wanted nothing to do with Puck, didn't mean he still couldn't sit in the wings of the auditorium at lunch and listen to her sing. Every song for the whole week felt that he was being spoken directly to him, and she had no idea that he was listening to every word. This week was the same. Monday, Rachel sang a Christina what's-her-face song that Puck recognized from the radio, Tuesday it was some Rihanna song, but Wednesday was a song Puck didn't recognize. He positioned himself, so that today he could see Rachel sing. He knew from the numerous times that Glee had rehearsed on that stage that with those lights in your eyes, you can't see much farther than the first few rows. There was no way she would see him.

It always amazed Puck how Rachel was able to have an instrumental version of just about any song ready at the moments notice and this was no exception. Puck listened as the sound of the guitar filled the auditorium. He watched Rachel prepare herself. She looked as if she was searching for the emotion inside of herself to accompany the song. Today she wasn't dressed in the short skirts, knee-high socks and sweaters that Puck would never admit he loved. He loved the way she dressed, even if he had heard Kurt saying something to Mercedes about how her outfits made her look like a grandmother and child at the same time. Today she wore dark jeans and a white fitted t-shirt. Puck had never seen her in anything like that with the exception of during Glee performances. Rachel began singing and the calmness Puck was counting washed over him, even though Rachel had been the one to cause his anxiety.

"_I Can Tell, I Can Tell, How much you hate this. And Deep Down Inside You Know its Killing Me. I Can Call, Wish You Well And Try To Change This But Nothing I Can Say Would Change Anything. Where Were My Senses? I Left Them All Behind. Why Did I Turn Away?" _

_~~~~*~~~~_

Rachel had spent the entire evening the day before coming up with the perfect song today during lunch. She had been looking up random videos on you tube until she came across this song called "Save You" by Kelly Clarkson. She let the video play and by the end of the song, the tears were cascading down her face. She wished she could thank Ms. Clarkson for performing an amazing song that spoke of all the feelings she had inside of her. She quickly found the instrumental and learned the song in Rachel Berry fashion. When she got the auditorium the next day, she felt that by singing this song she was going to feel better afterward. But Rachel couldn't wipe the image of her in Puck's arms, in his truck, kissing from her mind. That was only until she remembered the secret that he unloaded on her, while his arms wrapped securely around her waist. She blamed herself. What crazy idea was it to ask him to tell her a secret? She didn't want him to cut himself open and lay his insides out in front of her. Rachel wasn't one to run from a challenging situation, but the second Rachel's brain understood that Puck was telling her that he was the father of Quinn's baby, something inside her told her to get out of there. Her heart broke, for herself, and for him and Quinn, and Finn…_oh god Finn. _He didn't even realize the life-changing bomb that was ticking away under his nose. Puck had sent her more texts that night asking her to please keep this secret. She didn't know what to do. She knew that things were never going to work out between her and Finn, but didn't he deserve to know this. To know that he was at home worrying and working so hard to be the best for Quinn and for his baby and the baby wasn't even his. That all he was doing meant nothing. But she couldn't think about Finn for too long because she realized that Noah was getting the short end of this stick. Quinn was obviously keeping Puck away from being part of his child's life. Puck was watching on the sidelines as Finn got to have something that belonged to him. Rachel wished there was something she could do to help Puck, and she couldn't, so she sang. _"I Wish I Could Save You, I Wish I Could Say To You, I'm Not Going Nowhere, I Wish I Could Say To you. It's Gonna Be Alright. It's Gonna Be Alright" _

Rachel couldn't save Puck. She felt absolutely ridiculous for running out on him like that. She regretted it, but how could he forgive her for that? Puck needed her; she couldn't be there for him. She admired the courage it took for him to tell her about the baby, but she couldn't help question who the person in front of her really was. What kind of person sleeps with his best friend's girlfriend? And gets her pregnant? And keeps it a secret?

~~~~*~~~~

Puck ran his hand over his face as he heard Rachel sing. He loved to listen to Rachel sing but it was becoming increasingly difficult with every word, every note, hitting him straight in the heart. The lyrics made him feel that somewhere deep inside there was hope. Hope that Rachel would come and talk to him, and save him. But he had to remind himself that it was just a song, not written by Rachel, they were someone else's feelings, someone else's words and just because they came out of Rachel's mouth at that moment, didn't mean that was how she felt. _"We Can Pretend Nothings Changed. Pretend It's All The Same, And There Will Be No Pain, Tonight…It's Gonna Be Alright" _

Puck knew that now that this was out there, that Rachel knew the truth about him that nothing would ever be the same, but he had to try, he had to at least explain himself and if Rachel couldn't understand then, than she would never understand. _"It's Gonna Be Alright, It's Gonna Be Alright, It's Gonna Be Alright, It's Gonna Be Alright…" _Rachel's voice got softer as she repeated the line, and the instrumental cut off. This was the only chance, and there was so much on the line as Puck jumped up and walked into the auditorium.

Puck clapped slowly watching the surprised expression cover Rachel's face as he climbed up onto the stage to stand in front of her.

"Noah…why are you here?"

"You have to listen to me Berry. You can't just run away from me without hearing what I have to say first."

"I would agree that my leaving was rather abrupt but-"

"Rachel, for once you need to just shut up and listen."

Rachel simply nodded.

"What happened between Quinn and I, it was an accident. Chalk it up to too much alcohol. There were no feelings there. Since the moment I found out about the baby, I've been trying to help" Noah said confirming all of Rachel's suspicions, "but she won't let me. She has chosen Finn and I can't seem to persuade her otherwise."

"Don't any of you know what you are doing to Finn? How hard he's working for something that isn't even his?" Rachel asked.

Puck clenched his fists at his side, he was suddenly furious. "And it always comes back to Finn doesn't it? I'm standing in front of you pouring my heart out to you for the second time in like two weeks, and you sit here and are so worried about Saint Finn. "

"I'm sorry Noah, I never meant-"

"No, you know what. It doesn't matter. You might as well go run to tell Finn about all of this. You've been waiting for a reason to break him and Quinn up for a long time and you're finally getting your wish."

"Noah, you know it's not like that anymore with Finn-"

"But now it can be. You told me that you realized Finn was going to be with Quinn forever right? That's why you gave up? So why give up when you're finally going to get what you need?" Puck didn't understand why he was so angry. Well, he did. He was sick and tired of Finn getting everything. He was his best friend, but he was getting everything he wanted, his baby, and his family. But Puck had never intended on unleashing his anger on Rachel. The tears were running down Rachel's face and a hint of guilt hit Puck, but it wasn't enough. He just stood there looking at her, watching her and she wiped the tears quickly from her eyes.

Rachel turned away from Puck and quickly grabbed her stuff off the piano. "I don't have to deal with this," she said as she ran from the auditorium.

"Go ahead Rachel, keep on running," Puck called back to her as she disappeared. He had no idea what had just happened with him, but he knew that he had just made the situation worse. Puck wanted to hit something, but the only thing around was the piano and he wouldn't. He jumped off the stage and walked back to where he left his bag. Lunch was almost over. Back in the dark corner, he punched the wall, thankful football season was over.

The next day, Puck didn't go to the auditorium to listen to Rachel sing, and he didn't go to Glee. Mr. Shue was severely upset since they had only about a week until sectionals. During lunch, Rachel only sat quietly humming to herself on the stage, her legs dangling over the side. During Glee, Rachel sang with everything she had, but only because that was the only time when she didn't feel like something was eating away at her. Mr. Shue wasn't too thrilled about Puck's absence. With just over a week until sectionals, everyone needed to be united if everything if they had any chance of winning. As Mr. Shue gave them his daily pep talk, Rachel laughed internally about how much Mr. Shue didn't know. But she could agree with him on one thing, if New Directions had any chance of winning sectionals they would need to be united. And Rachel could only hope that everything would hold together long enough.

* * *

The song is Kelly Clarkson's "Save You"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I went back and realized I had made some mistakes that I couldn't help but fix, nothing too drastic.

* * *

With Puck and Rachel still not speaking to each other, it was time for sectionals. At a time way too early for Puck on a Saturday, everyone climbed on to the bus, already feeling accomplished because it was their bake sale that was able to afford it. Puck didn't correct Mr. Shue when he made his big speech to remind him that he baked all of the cupcakes, but he thought it would be a good idea to just keep his mouth shut. Somehow, Puck ended sitting in the front of the bus, because the bus was able to accommodate Artie, the back of the bus, on the passenger's side held his wheelchair and therefore most of the members of the club. Directly across him was Tina; in front of her the ridiculous duo of Mercedes and Kurt; Rachel directly in front of Artie, by herself; Finn and Quinn huddled together in a seat a few rows in front of Rachel. Santana and Britney were in front of them leaning over the seat to talk to Quinn who seemed less than interested. And Matt and Mike were seated across the bus from them. Puck didn't want to be here. Puck had skipped a few glee rehearsals the week before the trip and he was certain the only reason Mr. Shue was letting him come was so that they would be able to qualify. But despite his unwanted position, Puck knew that he couldn't let his team down. They had all been through too much for him to up and leave them because Rachel Berry had broken down his defenses. He would never admit this out loud and was only semi-ashamed of it in his head, but Rachel had hurt him. Maybe he should have come up with a better way to tell her about the baby, but she through the whole situation in his face and stood up for Finn. One week she's melting his heart, the next she's beating it like a piñata at a six year olds birthday party. He sat and watched the road pass around him, his back to the commotion going on behind him. The whole gang was singing and even Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury were joining them.

Puck looked up and caught the eye of the bus driver in the rearview mirror. He was watching Puck and gave him a soft smile, but Puck only glared back at him. A roar came from the back of the bus as everyone finished singing and were laughing to replace it. Puck just wanted quiet, and he wasn't going to get it being on this bus for who knows how much longer, but it seemed more like a prison than a bus. He felt the seat shift and looked over to find Finn sitting there, he turned is gaze immediately back out the window.

"Puck, man. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing,"

"Everyone is back there having fun, but you. This isn't like you. Dude, you know you can tell me. We are best friends."

_Today _Puck thought.

"We need you to play your guitar for the next song."

"Why don't you have Artie do it?"

"He doesn't have his guitar and I know you do." Finn said motioning to the guitar case resting between Puck's legs.

Puck turned and looked at his best friend, there was genuine concern on his face and something told him they only chose a song with guitar to get him out of his solitude that he found so pleasant.

"Fine," Puck groaned as Finn disappeared from the seat.

Puck took his guitar, got up, and carefully made his way to where the rest of the glee club sat. He was more concerned about falling and breaking his guitar than anything. When he sat down everyone was looking at him, including Rachel.

"So what am I playing?" Puck said avoiding direct eye contact with everyone.

"Just follow along" this coming from Rachel and Puck could tell from looking at her that she was mentally preparing herself to sing.

"_So we've put an end to it this time. I'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine. You said this hill looks far too steep if I'm not even sure it's me you wanna keep. And it's been ten days without you in my reach, and the only time I've touched you is in my sleep. "_

Puck remembered this song from Rachel's ipod during one of the times they were in her room. He was quickly able to follow along to her words.

"_And time has changed nothing at all - you're still the only one that feels like home. I've tried cutting the ropes and I let you go but you're still the only one that feels like home. "_

Rachel had chosen her song perfectly, like she always did. She hadn't intended on the lyrics to speak so much, but she knew that it would work well with a guitar, and there was a brooding guitar player in the front of the bus. She knew that the look he had on his face was because of her and her inability to control what came out of her mouth. She hadn't meant for her conversation in the auditorium with Puck to turn into such a disaster. She sang looking right at Puck, Puck's eyes never leaving his guitar.

"_'Cos baby time has changed nothing at all - you're still the only one that feels like home. And I've tried cutting the ropes, I let you go but you're still the only one that feels like home, yeah, you're still the only one that feels like home, you're still the only one I've gotta love. Oh yeah…"_

Puck stopped playing shortly after Rachel's voice left his ears. He looked at her for the first time since he had started playing, and she was looking right at him. He half smiled and Rachel couldn't help but smile back. There was applause from the rest of the club.

Despite his protest, New Directions was able to convince him to stay with them for the rest of the ride to sectionals, and play guitar on any song that needed it. Every time Rachel would sing, Puck would look at Quinn, who was of course, looking at Finn, or somewhere other than at Puck. Puck realized that it would probably have been a good idea to tell Quinn that Rachel knew about the baby, but Puck had had enough of female drama for the year. Instead, Puck hoped that he could at least get through this weekend with his secret safe inside Rachel's constantly working brain, and he would deal with Quinn on Monday.

~~~~*~~~~

And as if Puck's day couldn't get any worse, as they stood in the lobby of the hotel, Mr. Shue called out room assignments.

"Kurt and Artie, Mercedes and Tina, Puck and Finn, Brittney and Santana, Mike and Matt, Rachel and Quinn," he called attracting attention of all the other guests in the lobby.

Was Shuester crazy? Everyone knew that Quinn and Rachel didn't get along, hell most of the time Rachel didn't get along with anyone in Glee club, but Puck was even more shocked when no one complained about the arrangements, not even Quinn. It was hard enough keeping things from Finn when they were at school, or at home playing Xbox; but this was an entirely different situation. Everyone was on the same floor, Mr. Shuester and Mrs. Pillsbury at the end of the hallway, in separate rooms. There was going to be a strict curfew of 11. Everyone must be in their own room by that time. It was already almost ten and most of the members opted to go straight to their rooms and get their beauty rest. Okay, maybe only Kurt used those exact words, but the look on everyone's face was one of exhaustion, and with sectionals were tomorrow they were going to be in for another long and challenging day.

~~~~*~~~~

For the first time since he'd joined the group on the bus, Puck finally got a moment of peace inside the hotel room. Finn had gone to find something to eat and Puck stood in front of the bathroom mirror in the hotel room. His head was pounding and he was going to kill Finn for playing Dashboard Confessional earlier. He couldn't get the damn song out of his head. Looking at himself in mirror he began singing:

"_Vindicated; I am selfish; I am wrong; I am right, I swear I'm right; I swear I knew it all along. And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well; I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself."_

"What are you doing?" a voice said from the doorway. Puck jumped and turned to see Quinn standing there, giggling.

"What? How the hell did you get in here?"

"I convinced the cleaning lady that this was my room. I'm pregnant and she wasn't about to deny me. Where's Finn?"

"He and Mike went to find a vending machine."

"You told her." So much for waiting until Monday.

"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you on Monday,"

"Why did you even tell her at all? We both know that she's going to run into Finn with this."

"Because I had to be honest with her. And she hasn't said anything so far."

"But this is Rachel Berry we are talking about, she's been chasing after Finn like a puppy dog for months and now she finally has what she needs to get him."

"I don't think she's going to tell him."

"What makes you think that? All of a sudden you've decided that you've got the hots for man-hands again and you tell her a secret that isn't yours to tell,"

"It is mine Quinn. No matter how hard you fight me on this, this is still my secret. I have to deal watch Finn with my baby, so it is mine."

Puck and Quinn both jumped when they heard the door to the hotel room close. A look of panic washed over Quinn's face and Puck tried to keep his face free of emotion as they looked at Finn sitting in the doorway.

"Hey baby," Finn said walking over, "What are you doing here?"

At the same moment Quinn and Puck let out the breathes they both had been holding. Finn wrapped his arms around Quinn and kissed her.

"I came to visit you silly. I already checked, Mr. Shuester is asleep and at the other end of the hallway. We won't have to worry about curfew. "

Finn kissed Quinn again and then looked back at Puck who had thrown himself facedown onto the bed.

"Hey Puck, do you think you could give us some time…you know...alone?"

"What? No. If you wanna do whatever it is you do, go somewhere else."

Finn looked at Quinn.

"I'm rooming with Rachel. There is no way that girl is going to break a rule." Quinn said.

"Well sorry love birds, I guess you're rendezvous isn't going to happen. Now if you're going to continue this, keep it down. I'm going to sleep."

Puck couldn't believe this. Not only had he dodge a HUGE bullet when Finn didn't over hear his conversation with Quinn, but now he was trying to kick him out of the room so they could, what, make out? Because even though Quinn was already pregnant, and living with Finn they still weren't having sex. He probably owed Finn that much, but he was exhausted. He curled himself inside the blankets and heard the door open and close and then, who he assumed was Finn flopped onto the other bed.

"Dude, you've been out of it all day. What is your problem?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"You're a horrible liar man,"

"Look, I don't do girl talk."

"Seriously dude. I'm you're best friend, talk," Finn said using the same language Puck had used before Finn told him Quinn was pregnant.

"I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to sleep."

"Puck come on. You know Rachel always says that it's not good to keep things inside. They always get pent up. That's why she loves singing, cause she can sing the emotions she can't speak."

"Since when did you become an expert on Rachel Berry?" he didn't bother to tell Finn that he already knew that's what Rachel said.

"Since, she's good to talk to about stuff. Come on man, what's going on."

Puck paused, he didn't want to share this with Finn, especially after his display of Rachel worshipping that just occurred. But Finn wasn't going to let this go and he didn't have another lie on hand. "I asked Rachel to give me another chance."

"I thought you said she drove you crazy."

"She did, but…I don't know."

"What happened?"

"She couldn't have pushed me away harder." It wasn't the whole truth, but it was all Puck could tell his friend.

"And that's got you all torn up. Come on, man. You're Puck. You don't do girlfriends anyway."

Puck didn't want to talk about this anymore, "It just proved I should stick to cougars. This talking thing is lame. I'm going to sleep."

Puck was thankful that Finn didn't say anything else and was even happier when he heard him settling into the bed. He made a decision laying the dark hotel room, hoping that the blankets weren't covered with radioactive waste, that by the end of the weekend he would be over Rachel Berry. He trusted her enough not to let his secret out. But after the close call with Finn today, it became more obvious that it would have to come out, and soon. He couldn't keep tip toeing around his best friend, lying to him about the most important thing in his life. Somewhere in a mixture of thoughts of Rachel and babies, Puck's head calmed down into a dreamless sleep. All he had to do was get through tomorrow and he was home-free. This environment was definitely not good for keeping secrets.

* * *

The first song is "Ten Days" by Missy Higgins, and Puck's bathroom singing with "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: For this fic, Puck never told Mercedes about the baby. I'm sorry about the wait for this, I was for some reason uninspired to get what was going to happen into words. Again thank you for all those who review and add this story to their alerts. It may be the only reason I continue writing this since it fuels the muses! So please read and review! Also, there probably won't be another chapter up until after the weekend since I have final this weekend and then I am finally finished with colledge J Okay, enjoy!

* * *

The large dressing room had been divided between the boys and the girls with Kurt running between both making sure everyone's hair was perfect and that Mercedes had the girl's make-up perfect.

Everyone looked divine in their blue costumes and as the stage manager told New Directions there was fifteen minutes before they performed, Kurt was marveling at his work. Until he saw Rachel and then he was annoyed as he walked over to her, she was playing with her eyeliner.

"Rachel, it's perfect. Please don't ruin it."

"I'm not going to ruin it Kurt. I am perfectly capable of adjusting my own cosmetics."

Just then, Finn came from behind her, standing close and Rachel felt uncomfortable when she felt his presence.

"Hey Rach, can I talk to you?"

Even though she knew he was there, Finn's voice startled Rachel, causing her eyeliner to smudge almost entirely across her face.

Kurt made an aggravated noise and looked up at Finn, "No." he answered. "Now I have to fix all that Mercedes had done.

Rachel shot Kurt a look before turning back to Finn, "After the performance?"

"Yeah, uh...okay." Finn said walking away.

Kurt pushed Rachel into the seat and began to fix her make-up.

"I thought we were over our most handsome leading man? You haven't gone against the pact have you?" Kurt asked as he wiped the smudge liner from her face.

Rachel laughed at the pact she and Kurt had made to realize that Finn Hudson was not the man for either of them. And both vowed to use each other as support to move on. "No, I haven't."

"Then what just caused you to ruin your make-up?" Kurt asked beginning to reapply.

"It's nothing. He just startled me."

"You saw him coming in the mirror."

"I don't know, just drop it."

Kurt went to speak but the stage manager alerted them of five minutes until show time and Mr. Shuester walked in.

"All right guys," the leader of glee started, "You've worked incredibly hard to get where we are right now. And I want you all to go out there and do the best you can do. I know there is a lot riding on this, but all that matters is that you go out there and show them what you've got."

Everyone clapped for each other knowing that this was going to be something special for them. New Directions filed into the waiting area by the stage as they watched the previous group finish their performance. Rachel looked up and Puck who was looking at her, smiling. Puck knew how much this moment meant to Rachel and she was happy he was able to pull him out of his foul mood to do this, even if it wasn't for her. Rachel watched as Finn walked up beside her, then past her to go stand next to Puck. Puck turned his attention away from Rachel and on to his best friend who leaned in.

"We're done. You're a lying bastard, and she's not any better. You were supposed to be my best friend, and it turns out you're just a traitorous asshole," Finn whispered.

Puck looked over at Finn, his eyes wide. Not only had he not known that Finn knew so many multi-syllable words, but he was utterly shocked that Finn knew their secret. Rachel caught the expression on Puck's face and watched the boys adamantly. Puck wondered for a moment just when Finn found out. In the hotel room last night? Had Rachel told him? Mercedes? Puck didn't know he just knew that his whole world had just imploded and he had about a minute before he had to go out and perform. He turned to Rachel who gave him a confused look. It wasn't her. He knew it wasn't. He turned his attention back to Finn.

"How?" he simply asked.

"It doesn't matter.

"Does Quinn know you know?"

"No. I have to deal with her. But you, I know you're just destined to fuck up, but you were like my damn brother, and you betrayed me like this; I'm through with you."

Puck could have cried at this moment, if he were the type to cry. But as Finn walked away and stood next to Quinn again, a smile on his face. What an ass! Puck felt in that moment that there were a million other things he'd rather be doing but as he heard the announcer introduce New Directions to the stage he pull himself together for just a moment. He may have screwed up with Finn, but he wasn't going to let the other ten members down because of him.

~~~~*~~~~

The nearly five minutes that it takes to perform, "Somebody to Love" was a blur to Puck. He did his part and didn't mess anything up, at least not here. The second everyone was off stage everyone started high fiving and congratulating each other and Puck didn't even stay. Instead, he walked right through everyone and headed through the auditorium into the lobby. Rachel looked at Finn and realized that his eyes were not celebratory as the others were. His eyes held a rage that she didn't even think Finn was capable of. She walked over to him and ignored the nasty glance from Quinn.

"Finn, you said earlier that you wanted to talk," Rachel spoke over all the cheers from her teammates.

"Not now," Finn said as he released the hold between his hand and Quinn's and followed the same trail that Puck had taken.

In the lobby of the convention center, Puck was pacing. He didn't know if he should wait until Finn talked to Quinn, if he should tell Quinn before Finn could. His head was just racing with thoughts some he couldn't even comprehend before they were gone. He slammed his hand into the concrete wall and watched as the strangers walking around him stared. The only thing Puck was sure of was that he couldn't wait to get back to Lima, and Puck never wanted to be in Lima. Puck cursed under his breath when he saw Finn coming to the lobby, Quinn and the rest of the glee club behind him.

"Look, man. If you just let us ex-" Puck started but was interrupted when Finn's massive fist collided with his face. Puck knew that he deserved everything that Finn gave him. He knew that everything and everyway that he ever screwed up was coming to a head right now and all of the consequence resided in Finn's hands. From around him he heard Quinn and Rachel's voices in unison pleading for Finn to stop. Puck never made an attempt to hit Finn back. Instead, he just focused on trying to get the tall quarterback off of him and was failing terribly. When the constant jostling of his body stopped, Puck looked up to find Finn staring behind him. Puck pushed himself up on his arms as much as he could with the pain that was running through him. He glanced around to see what had captivated Finn and froze.

Surrounded by Santana, Brittney and Tina, Quinn stood hunched over, no longer paying any attention to the boys fight but still crying intensely. It only took another moment for Puck to realize that Quinn was in pain. Looking closer through his now swelling eyes, he noticed small drops of red sitting on the floor between Quinn's legs.

~~~~*~~~~

One hour ago, New Direction had finished performing at Sectionals. Now ten of its members were holding a vigil in the lobby of the hospital. Finn was sitting in the corner of the waiting room, not talking to anyone. Brittney, Santana, Mike and Matt all huddled together to wait for news on their fallen friend. Mercedes, Kurt, Artie and Tina huddled a few feet away, Rachel in the corner opposite of Finn, alone. Rachel hated that everyone seemed to separate themselves into the cliques that formed inside the club, but was happy that everyone was here together to wait on news on their fallen teammate. She looked over at Finn who sat there staring, yet there was no emotion in his eyes. Rachel hoped that she would at least see anger in them; then at least he was feeling something. While the rest of the Glee club speculated what caused the fight between the once best friends, Rachel kept her mouth shut and shrugged. He wouldn't be fair to tell Quinn's secret while she couldn't even be here to defend herself from the gossip that she feared would ensue.

She wondered if that was what Finn had wanted to talk to her about earlier. And cursed Kurt for throwing one of his diva fits about the make-up, if she would have let Finn speak maybe, this whole thing could have been avoided. Rachel pulled his legs up on the chair and held her knees to her chest. Although it was obvious that her and Quinn had never gotten along, she would never wished harm to her, she would most certainly never wished the experience she was going through now on her, despite the nasty things Quinn had done to Rachel. All the emotion was getting to Rachel. Anytime she had felt like this before she could go and sing, but she couldn't and she wasn't about to try to convince everyone in the waiting room to sing with her, she knew for certain she would just receive glares and rude comments. So she tried her best to deal with the situation as best she could. But she felt the emotion push its way up inside her, and she let a tear or two escape her eyes to keep from it becoming too much.

Mr. Shue, who had been pacing around the waiting room, nearly jumped when he heard his cell phone ring. He excused himself and went outside to answer. While Mr. Shuester was still on the phone, the doctor came out looking for those waiting for Quinn Fabray. Everyone stood, with the exception of Rachel, but it was Ms. Pillsbury that the doctor allowed to follow behind the doors. As Ms. Pillsbury disappeared, Mr. Shue came back and stood in front of everyone.

"I know that right now it doesn't mean anything, but we won Sectionals." Will said before taking a seat immediately.

To not only place at sectionals, but to win sectionals was something Rachel could only have dreamed of. New Directions had under gone through a lot to get to where they had been when they performed earlier. Rachel wanted to be happy for her team, but she couldn't. The reality was that Quinn and the baby were more important than any competition. The rest of the club seemed to feel the same reaction. Rachel glanced over at Finn again who hadn't seemed to move at all. She knew that despite all that happened that Finn still loved Quinn and was worried about her.

When Ms. Pillsbury came back into the waiting room, everyone jumped to their feet, this time Finn included. Ms. Pillsbury sighed and Rachel watched as the tears formed in her eyes. Ms. Pillsbury collected herself and then spoke, "Quinn is stable. However, she has unfortunately suffered a miscarriage." Emma rushed to take a seat next to Will.

Rachel let all the tears fall from her eyes as she watched everyone around her cry. She was relieved when she saw the tears rolling down Finn's face. Quinn's baby was gone, Noah's baby was gone. Noah. Somewhere in all the waiting, Rachel hadn't realized that Noah had never been waiting with them in the hospital. She was sure that she saw him get on the bus as it drove them to the hospital, but she had never seen him inside the hospital. She pulled her phone out of the pocket knowing that Puck would have wanted to be here right now sent him a text. He wasn't going to pick now to run and hide was he?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This was the chapter that I had running through my head when I started writing this story. I'm proud of it! So please read and review and let me know what you think. I know there hasn't been any songs in the last couple chapters, but if any one has a suggestion you think might fit let me know through PM or in a review. Again I don't own Glee or this would actually happen lol.

* * *

It had been two weeks since sectionals. Puck sat up in his room on a Thursday morning listening outside to the school buses taking all the younger kids to school. He had barely left that room. The middle of his bed began to shape around him since, unless he was sleeping Puck sat in the middle of his bed staring at different things most of the time. He had gone to school a few times last week, but he couldn't stay there for long. He was paying attention less than he usually did in class, and every time he saw Rachel or Finn, everything felt fresh. So most days he told his mom he didn't feel good, or would just wait for her to leave before he climbed back into bed. When his mom found out all she did was cry. She didn't yell or ground him, she just cried. Quinn hadn't gone back to school at all, she wasn't sure she was going to at all. They were on the phone with each other everyday, they weren't really talking, just sitting there. Most of the time all Puck heard on the other end of the phone was the soft sound of Quinn crying.

He felt his phone vibrate on the nightstand and reached for it slowly. Expecting Quinn, he paused when he saw Rachel's name on the screen. He stared at the phone while it vibrated in his hand until Rachel hung up. She called at least once everyday and each time Puck never picked up. Puck knew that if he let Rachel talk to him, Rachel would make one of her grand speeches about how no one could have known this was going to happen and he was still a good person despite what most of the student body seemed to think at the moment. Puck couldn't hear Rachel say how great he was when he felt like the shittiest father and friend at the moment, and he was right about himself. He put the phone back down on the nightstand but stayed in his spot on the bed. His daughter was gone. It really hadn't hit them until the memorial. He had spent the last five months trying to get to be part of his little girl's life and the first time he was able think of her as his own, he was putting her body in the ground. He had failed her. If he had been able to keep the situation with Finn under control, Quinn wouldn't have been under all that stress as she watched them fight and everything would be okay, well as okay as they could have been. That okay was a hell of a lot better then wherever he was now. He missed that moment when his insides weren't constantly twisted, causing him pain, he missed going to school and watching as the freshman ran every time he came around the corner. He missed being the most intimidating badass in school. Right now Puck wasn't even sure if that badass was even in there. And he missed Rachel. Despite his reasons for ignoring her, he missed her smile and her voice (even when she talked too much) and he missed her crazy. He missed his little girl.

Puck let out a deep sigh and made the decision to get out of bed. He walked out of his room happy his sister and mother were gone. They would have done nothing but fuss over him. He grabbed a towel from the linen closet and stepped into the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, Puck didn't really recognize who was standing there. He tried to do his signature Puck smirk but only scoffed at how pathetic it looked before getting in the shower.

Once he was finished, Puck wrapped the towel around his waist and walked back to his room. Immediately he noticed his phone was ringing and once he noticed it was Quinn he rushed to answer.

"Hey," he said before searching through drawers to find something to wear

"Did Rachel call?"

This is why he didn't tell her anything, "Yeah."

"Did you answer?"

"No."

"Puck, why not?"

"I'm just not ready to talk to her, Quinn."

"Its okay, I have a plan," Puck noticed a hint of the old Quinn in her voice.

"And what is that?" he asked stepping to a pair of jeans before placing the phone on speaker and placing it down on the nightstand. He moved to his closest to find a shirt anxious to hear what kind of plan Quinn was concocting.

"We're going back to school. Like today. Come get me."

"Quinn, school has already started today."

"So, I think its time that we start getting our lives back, for her."

Puck was silent as he pulled a black t-shirt on. If she put it that way, he hadn't any choice but to agree.

"Fine, be ready in an hour."

"We have glee today."

"I'm not going to that."

"No, we are."

"Quinn-"

"Puck, you can't hide from everything forever. It would be a waste. It would be like she meant nothing to us and we both now that isn't true."

"Have you been seeing a shrink?"

"No, just watching Doctor Phil."

Puck laughed, "Alright fine. One hour."

"One hour," Quinn repeated

Puck put his phone down again and began to search his room frantically for all of his schoolbooks.

~~~~*~~~~

Rachel had always found school, for the most part, rather enjoyable. That was with the exception of the slushie facials and the people constantly laughing at her, or Jacob and his horrendous gossip. But the last couple of weeks have been so much worse. By the time, they had gotten to school the Monday after sectionals, the entire student body knew about all of the baby gate drama. Quinn was never there, and Finn walked around as if he was empty. He hadn't come to Glee and he spoke to no one, including her. She had seen Puck at school once, and she immediately broke into tears. She had taken a step to go speak with him but he had already turned around and walked away. She hadn't seen him since. She didn't blame Puck or Quinn for that matter for not wanting to be at school. Every day it was the same thing, whispers from people who she was sure Puck and Quinn didn't even know. A few people tried to be brave and say something to Finn who immediate erupted into a fit of anger that caused many of the black eyes on those select members of the student body.

Walking between English and History, Rachel felt the whispers had erupted into a new fervor. _What could they possibly have left to say? Its been two weeks_, Rachel thought. Stopping at her locker, she noticed that everyone was staring at the entrance of the hallway. Rachel turned and then froze seeing not only Puck standing there, but also Quinn stood next to him. Quinn was dressed in jeans and a sweater and Rachel realized that this was the first time she'd seen Quinn without a dress or her cheerios uniform with the exception of for Glee performances. Rachel's eyes on the two who continued to walk down the hallway, not looking at anyone, including Rachel.

Rachel watched panicked as Finn came from the entrance that Puck and Quinn had just strode through. He saw them, she could tell the way he was staring down the now emptying hallway. He turned to look at her; it was the first time he'd really looked at her in two weeks. Then he nodded and continued walking.

~~~~*~~~~

Rachel had no classes with Puck so it wasn't a surprise to her that by the time she walked into glee that afternoon, she hadn't seen Puck again. She sat at the piano bench playing the melody to "Save You" by Kelly Clarkson as the rest of the glee club began to trickle in. Rachel was shocked when she saw Finn walk into the room. Their eyes met and Finn smiled for the first time that Rachel had seen in a long time. Rachel offered a smile back as Finn took a seat next between Kurt and Matt. Rachel continued to play noticing that everyone was now inside. She stopped playing and stood up in front of the piano ready to lead this meeting, because Mr. Shue was out. Just as Rachel was about to make her opening announcements, the door to the choir room opened. Everyone stared with the same wide eyes that Rachel saw in the hallway that afternoon as Quinn and Puck walked into the choir room. Rachel motioned with her eyes for them to come in and they took the two seats left in the back.

"Alright, now that everyone's here," Rachel started, "With regionals coming up we have to come up with a few new numbers to perform. I was lucky that Mr. Shue had already had some selections picked out="

"Rachel, I hate to interrupt," Rachel looked up to see it was Quinn speaking, "but where is Mr. Shuester?"

"Oh, um," Rachel started, "Mr. Shue is out indefinitely. Because of a family issue. I am running things for the time being, and Mrs. Pillsbury comes in to check in on us."

"What happened?" this coming from Puck.

Rachel looked up at the unknowing duo and was quiet for a long time.

"Mr. Shue found out that his wife wasn't really pregnant," Kurt interjected to save Rachel who sent him a silent thank you before placing her focus back towards Puck.

"That's crazy!" Puck voiced.

Rachel noticed Quinn looked tense and was staring at the floor.

"Yeah well since Quinn was suppose to give her, her baby, Mrs. Shuester panicked when, you know, there was no baby," Finn interrupted.

Rachel shot Finn a look before quickly focusing her gaze on Puck who was looking at Quinn who was still looking at the floor. Rachel heard Quinn whisper something before the tears poured out of her eyes as she got up and ran out of the choir room.

"Well we might as well discontinue this rehearsal. Everyone go home." Rachel said.

The rest of the club was shocked, it wasn't like Rachel to end Glee early, she was all about perseverance and hard work, but Rachel knew that with all the tension in the room today, there were likely to be more outbursts, and nothing would get accomplished. Rachel turned back around to pack her bag as everyone else did the same and filed out of the choir room. Rachel turned to leave and saw that Puck was still sitting where he had. He looked up and looked at Rachel and she noticed the hurt look on his face.

"You didn't know did you?" Rachel said from across the room.

"No. "He said simply.

There was a long pause. Rachel, who was never at a loss for words, couldn't seem to find any in this moment.

"She would have grown up so close, and I wouldn't have had any idea. Mr. Shuester would have paraded her around and I wouldn't even have known she was mine. Neither would Mr. Shue."

"Noah-" Rachel said stepping towards him.

"Stop calling me that!" Puck snapped and Rachel froze, only a few feet from where he sat staring at her.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said sheepish

"When you call me that, it makes me feel that I have, I don't know, potential or something. That I'm not this screw up. But I am. And when you call me Noah, I forget about all the bad shit I've done in the last couple of months. Hell, my own best friend, well ex-best friend, knows I'm a fuck up. I'm Puck, I always will be." he leaned back into his chair, running his hands over his face.

Rachel closed the rest of the space between them slowly. Unsure where to go, she grabbed the nearest chair and pulled up next to him.

"Finn's behavior, today, and at sectionals was out of line."

"Was it? Because I've been spending the last five months complaining about how Finn was getting the girls and the baby, everything. Yet I never even bothered the think about the fact that I was lying to him about the most important thing in his life. "

"You made a mistake."

"My life is full of mistakes Rachel. Everything with Quinn, lying to Finn. I can't help but think that's the way she was taken from us, to punish Quinn and I for what we did."

"Noah Puckerman you are never to think such as thing again!! What happened was sad, and unfortunate. But never was it your fault!"

Puck looked away from Rachel, but Rachel grabbed his chin and pulled his eyes back to her. She looked deep into them and despite his own convictions, all she saw was Noah.

"Listen to me Noah," he went to protest but she cut him off, "Noah, despite what you have come to believe, I do see your 'potential or something'. It took a lot for you to admit everything about Quinn and the baby to me and despite everything; you have been there for Quinn when she needed you the most. So you cannot let a few mistakes define you, you have to let what you do about those mistakes be who you are."

Puck leaned forward, thankful for Rachel's closeness as he leaned his forward against hers. "I knew you'd say something like that," he whispered.

"Is that why you never answered the phone when I called?"

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes closed tight, taking in the feeling of being close to Rachel.

Rachel reached over and grabbed Puck's hand, engulfing as much as she could into her small hand, "You need to stop being sorry Noah."

Rachel reached up with her free hand and placed her it against Puck's cheek. Rachel froze only for a moment as Puck buried his head into the crook of her neck. It was nothing sexual, but extremely intimate. Rachel wrapped her arm around Puck as he rested against her, her hand still tightly intertwined with his. Rachel ran her hand through Puck's Mohawk and down the shaved parts and forgot about all the bad blood between the two of them: the slushies, the fight in the auditorium. Instead she focused on the day he came over looking for his shirt and how without it they may not have been in this position right now. And she knew that if that made Quinn's baby come back, she was okay with that. But right now she was in this moment, with Noah, not Puck.

"Can I tell you something? Without you freaking out?" Rachel asked as Puck still lay against her.

"Hmm."

"When you asked me if I wore your shirt, I said no, and that was the truth," she paused and Puck stayed quiet, " But I may have slept with it a couple of nights. Kind of like a security blanket."

Puck stayed quiet and just squeezed her hand in response. They both looked up when the door to the choir room opened and Ms. Pillsbury walked in.

"Oh," she said, "I though you would still be rehearsing."

Puck sat up when he saw Ms. Pillsbury enter the room, but his hand was still firmly connected with Rachel's.

"We ended rehearsal early, Ms. Pillsbury. I think we all needed a bit of a break." Rachel said.

"Understandable. It's good to see you back at school and in glee Puck." Puck hated the apologetic look on Ms. Pillsbury's face, but he knew that she wasn't intended to upset him.

"Yeah, thanks."

"We should get going," Rachel said.

Mrs. Pillsbury nodded and headed out of the room leaving Rachel and Puck alone again. They sat there still, hands connected.

"I should probably go look for Quinn. "

"Yeah, my Dads should be here soon."

Rachel felt like something was removed from her as Puck pulled his hand from her. Rachel looked down at that empty space for a second before noticing that Puck was already across the room. She got up and grabbed her bag and moved until she stood in front of him. Puck leaned down and kissed Rachel on the cheek. He pulled back and attempted a pathetic smile.

"Thank you Rachel."

"Of course." Rachel said smiling, "I hope Quinn is alright."

"Yeah, me too. I'll, uh, see you around."

"You're coming back for good now?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." Puck said grabbing his bag and leaving Rachel alone in the choir room, the warmth of his lips against her cheek still burning into her skin.

* * *

A/N: Just wanted to throw in here how much I absolutely loved Sectionals the other night. The cast did an AMAZING job! I am now counting down the days until it returns!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I feel like these chapters are just dripping in angst…I like it…but don't worry there is some lighter stuff coming…until then: this chapter turned out almost entirely different than I had planned, so hopefully it isn't too bad. Please read and review and let me know what you think. And because its easier this way: I don't own Glee, the characters or the songs used in this chapter.

* * *

The one thing Puck missed most about missing so much school was sneaking into the auditorium during lunch and listening to Rachel sing. So now as he took his spot in the wings of the auditorium, he was eager to listen.

While he had finally managed to get through a school day, he found that it wasn't as simple getting back into the routine he once had. With football season over, he chose not to participate in any other sports right now. He showed up to Glee, but with Mr. Shuester still absent and Rachel in charge, there seemed to be more yelling and less singing going on.

Puck heard someone enter the auditorium and peaked around the corner at Rachel who had settled herself down at the piano bench. Puck watched as Rachel just stared at the keys, running her hands across them so lightly they made a barely audible sound. He watched her for a long time, but she wasn't playing anything. He watched as she wiped at her face and realized that she isn't singing, because she's crying.

Guilt surged through Puck, and he couldn't help but assume this was all because of him, in one way or another. Despite their talk in the choir room earlier in the week, Puck had gone back to avoiding Rachel; well he was avoiding everyone really. He spent most of his time with Quinn and he couldn't stand all the looks of pity and judgment that he got from most of the student body. And despite the motivation that her speech caused, he still saw all that pity in her eyes, and couldn't help but think she was only there for him because of what happened. Deep inside him, somewhere, Puck knew that wasn't true. But the other part of him had full control right now, so he was making all the wrong choices. She had called the morning after their talk, and again Puck didn't answer. Quinn continually berated him, but he just rolled his eyes at her. Puck had forgiven her for the whole Terri Shuester incident. He understood that she was scared, and that no one was really thinking clearly about the whole situation. There was no way Puck could turn his back on her, he was the only person she had left.

Although Puck was determined to keep that he listened to Rachel a secret, he couldn't help but feel compelled to go to her, to try and make everything alright again. But he couldn't he just sat there, and watched. Rachel had been the one person to believe in him, but one person doesn't make it true. Inside his head, with all of Rachel's words of encouragement were Finn's of hatred. He was right, he had always been a screw up and he sure as hell wasn't going to take Rachel down with him. So going to her right now wasn't the best idea. Puck heard the door of the auditorium open and Rachel look up.

"Finn?" Rachel said trying quickly to cover up that she had been crying.

Puck heard footsteps and then saw Finn as he moved through the dark auditorium into the light on the stage.

"Rachel, were you crying?" Finn said going to sit next to her on the piano bench, too close if you asked Puck.

"No,"

"Yes you have Rachel, what's wrong?"

"Nothing,"

"Rachel-"

"Finn! Let it go!" Rachel snapped. She hardly ever got angry, especially with Finn. When it came to Finn she had the patience of a Saint, but today, she just didn't want to deal with it. She was also still mad at him for his comments towards Puck and Quinn the other day during Glee.

"Did you need something Finn," she said after calming herself.

"Uh, yeah. I-I was wondering if you wanted to go bowling tomorrow night?"

"Oh, um, I don't think so Finn."

"Another night then?"

"Finn, I -I'm not sure going out with you would be a good idea."

Puck couldn't see Finn's face right now, but he knew his former best friend well enough to know that he was probably extremely confused.

"But, I thought you liked me?"

"I did Finn," she paused looking straight at him, "But a lot has changed since then."

"You haven't changed Rachel."

"No, maybe not. But you have, and our situations have changed drastically."

"I'm over that."

"No, you're not. Or you wouldn't have made those comments in Glee the other day."

"You can't expect me to just accept what happened Rachel."

"I'm not. It was a lot for all of us to process. My reaction wasn't the best when I found out either, but-"

Rachel paused when Finn jumped off the bench like it was on fire.

"What do you mean when you found out?" Finn said puzzled.

"I mean when Noah told me everything, I freaked out on him."

"You knew? That's why you pushed him away? How long did you know?"

"Finn, I'm sorry. But-"

"How long Rachel?"

"About two weeks before sectionals."

"And you didn't think that you should tell me? I thought we were friends."

"We were, and we are," Rachel said standing up from the piano bench walking to stand center stage, "It wasn't my secret to tell."

"Was everyone just lying to me? The people I trusted the most, were keeping something so important a secret and some how I was the fool who couldn't see what was going on."

"Finn, it wasn't like that."

"I just-I just can't take this anymore," Finn said before turning around and practically sprinting out of the auditorium.

Puck watched as Rachel struggled to keep the tears from falling. She stared at the exit to the auditorium for a moment before walking over to the piano. Sitting down Rachel only had one song in her mind and her fingers played a long the keys until she found the melody she began to sing_: _

"_Driving away from the wreck of the day, and the light's always red in the rear-view. Desperately close to a coffin of hope, I'd cheat destiny just to be near you. If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up on love, on love"_

Puck watched as Rachel sang her pain away and felt for the first time, that being apart from Rachel was good for everyone, especially her. He had caused her to cry so many times in the last few weeks, he couldn't keep hurting everyone around him.

_ "'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love, I'm just falling to pieces"_

As much as Puck was looking forward to listening to Rachel sing today, it wasn't the same as it had been before. Normally, despite the song she sang, Puck was able to clear his head for a brief moment. Today, Puck was only filled with more pain, nothing was calm inside him, nothing, it seemed, could be resolved.

"_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And it's finally quiet in my head  
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed  
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love "_

Rachel finished the song just as the bell alerting everyone that lunch had ended rang. Defeated Puck grabbed his things and left the auditorium. The door shut heavy behind him and inside Rachel looked up, as the door slammed shut, but saw no one. Rachel packed her things into her bag feeling overpowered by the emotions that still ate away inside her. She was so confused about everything in her world, but she felt that if singing couldn't help, the only thing to do now was to wait it out, and hope everything fell into place.

~~~~*~~~~

"Puckerman, if you don't stop being such a damn mope, I'll have to stop hanging out with you, and then you will be alone." Quinn yelled walking into Puck's bedroom before school Monday morning. When she called, he informed her that he wasn't going to be attending school today,

Puck was laying on his bed, not moving as Quinn stood in front of him, her hands on her hips.

"Fine, you want to do this? What happened to living for her Puck? What happened to everything we decided to do when we came back to school?"

"I did it, I went back to school," Puck said still laying there.

"Yes, but you've been absolutely useless otherwise. "

"What's new?"

"What is wrong with you Puck?"

"Nothing, "he said rolling over to avoid her.

"Oh no you don't," Quinn said moving to the other side of the bed, "You're not running from this."

Puck flipped over on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Oh my god! You are being absolutely ridiculous. This is all because of Rachel isn't it?"

Puck was silent. So maybe it was, but not entirely. Quinn had to understand what he was going through right. Losing Finn, and then the baby. Losing the person you love and your child, that had to be the same as him losing Rachel and the baby, right? Puck stopped for a moment to think of what that comparison meant in terms of his feelings for Rachel. But had he lost Rachel? She pushed him away, and then held him in her arms, but then he pushed her away. His life was becoming a month's worth of drama from that General Hospital show his mom tivoed and watched on her days off. He missed Rachel, and that was his reason for the bad mood, but he knew he couldn't go back to her, he couldn't ruin her too. It was times like this that Puck wished he was still Puck. Puck wouldn't give a damn about all of this, he would just focus on the cougars and the cheerios; and not worry about Rachel Berry. While Puck got lost in his thoughts, Quinn had continued to ramble on, none of which it Puck heard.

"You're obviously not listening to me today. So you stay here, and drowned in your self-pity. I'm going to school, and I'm going to Glee. Because Mr. Shuester is coming back today. And I think it would be a good idea for all of us to be there. So if you can get your pathetic self out of bed by 3:30 that would be good, for everyone." Quinn said before storming out of his room.

~~~~*~~~~

At 3:30, everyone filed into the choir room, except Puck. Mr. Shuester was standing in front, in front of their trophy from sectionals.

"Alright everyone. I want to thank you all for your patience while I was gone. Thank you Rachel for running things during that time. We have a lot to get through before regionals and we are going to have to get started right away, it'll be a fresh start for us. Where's Puck?" Mr. Shuester said.

"He really wanted to be here, Mr. Shue," Quinn said, "but he really wasn't feeling well."

Mr. Shue nodded but continued, "Well let him know I hope he gets well soon, because we are going to need him. I'm going to need everyone if we are going to even place at regionals. We've all been through a lot, but we've gotten this far, and underneath all the dirty stuff, we are still a team, a family, and we will have to start acting like it. Also, I have convinced Principal Figgins to let us have another showcase, and this time, every single one of you are going to be able to display your talents. So keep an eye out for any pieces you might want to perform and we can try some out. But for now, I don't want to start anything with Puck missing, so I will see you all here tomorrow, ready to go."

Everyone got up and began walking out of the choir room. Rachel just passed the threshold before she heard he name being called behind her.

"Rachel, wait up," it was Quinn and Rachel paused for the blonde.

"Yes Quinn?"

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, "It's important."

Rachel nodded and the two waited for Mr. Shuester to leave the choir room before going back inside and sitting down in the front row.

"It's about Puck, "Quinn started, "He hasn't been himself lately."

"I don't see what you'd like me to do. He has barely said anything to me in the last week."

"He won't talk to me about this, and he has talk to me about almost everything since our daughter died. Everything, except you. He barely talks to me about you, but I know that he still feels something for you."

"Look Quinn, I'm just as worried about him as you are. But this can't be because of me. Like I said, he has hardly spoken to me."

"When was the last time that you talked?"

"Quinn, I don't-"

"Rachel, just tell me when it was?"

"The beginning of last week. After Finn made those very inappropriate comments."

"The ones about Terri Shuester?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, Rachel this is definitely about you."

"Then what am I suppose to do about it? I made it clear that I was sorry for walking away from him the day that he told me about his daughter. And since he won't talk to me, it's kind of hard to fix anything."

"What if I told you I could take care of that if you just show up?"

"Quinn, we've never gotten along, so why would you do this?"

"Because, losing my daughter has made me realize a few things. And one of those is that I care about Puck, and not in a romantic way. He's really important to me and if he's not happy, its harder for me to be happy. And I think that you make him happy, and I guess I can be happy with that. But first, I have to get him happy. So are you in or not?"

Rachel nodded as she listened to Quinn tell her the plan she had. Both girls work intensely working on the plan that would finally pull Noah Puckerman back into normalcy.

* * *

A/N: The song is "Wreck of the Day" by Anna Nalick. I don't own it, except on CD.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This may be the second to last chapter, I haven't exactly decided yet. But there is a lot going on in this chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy it!!! Read and Review please!!!! I don't own Glee or the many songs used in this chapter.

* * *

Rachel had no idea if Quinn's plan was going to work, but she had to try. After all of this time, she hated that it was always Puck who was making the effort. She had pushed him away, but he kept coming back and never, aside from the afternoon in the choir room, had she gone to him. This was her turn to fix everything. If Quinn was right, and his change in attitude was because of her, she couldn't just stand by and wait for him to come out of it. It hurt that he wouldn't just come to her, but like she thought before, this was her turn to show him how much he meant to her. She was glad that Puck had someone with him, like Quinn, when she couldn't be around. Rachel understood that there were things going on in Puck's mind that she would never understand, but Quinn could. She was also grateful that Quinn had changed and this time her plotting and scheming was working with her not against her, and was working for some good.

Rachel had never been more determined than she was right now, so that was a lot of determination. Rachel searched vast collection of music she had, trying to find the perfect song to sing during her presentation of new material for regionals. It had to be perfect.

~~~~*~~~~

After school on Monday, Quinn went straight to Puck's house to give him the homework he missed. She was not going to let him fall any farther behind than he already had. She smiled at Ms. Puckerman who shook her head at Quinn to let her no that Puck hadn't left his room. Quinn opened the door to find Puck sitting at his desk, his guitar on his knee, his fingers fumbling over the strings making a unique, yet almost non-musical, concoction of sounds.

"Here," Quinn said throwing the pile of paper down on his desk in front of him.

"Thanks."

"And, we have an assignment for Glee. "

"What crazy rap song is making Mr. Shue making us mash-up this time?"

"Mr. Shuester isn't doing the mash-ups for the songs, just the partners."

"Partners?"

"Duets, sort of."

Puck groaned, "I swear if I have to work with Mercedes again I might, well I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty."

"You seem in a better mood than when I left you this morning."

"Looks can be deceiving sweetheart. So tell me this duet thing is with you, because I'm not sure I can work with anyone else right now."

"Nope, not me. I'm working with Kurt."

"That only leaves like, nine more people, so are you going to make me guess or are you going to tell me?"

"I'm not telling you at all. Just show up to the auditorium tomorrow after school."

"Seriously Quinn?"

"As serious as I've been in a long time."

Puck huffed, "Where's the music?"

"There isn't any. You have to come up with yourself."

"How am I supposed to do a duet, with myself?"

"Just put together something, like we did for the ballads. Just put together a song, and then your partner will have a song and then you have to try to mash them up."

"And what if you can't mash them up?"

"Then you start over until you have something that does."

"When did Shuester become a fan of torture?"

"Puck, just show up tomorrow okay?"

"Fine. " Puck groaned, "Thanks for the homework."

"You're welcome. I wish I didn't have to see you like this. Our daughter meant a lot to both of us but I -"

"This isn't about our daughter, not entirely. I will always love and miss her, but this isn't about her."

Quinn gave Puck a half smile and kissed him on the top of his head, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Quinn didn't bother to look back as she left his bedroom. She felt bad for not telling Puck the truth about Glee. So yeah maybe Rachel and herself had decided that Rachel and Puck were going to do a duet, but Rachel already had something picked out. But inside she thought that her idea was a genius one and was going to run it by Mr. Shuester for the future.

~~~~*~~~~

Tuesday morning Puck begrudgingly got out of bed and went to school. It didn't help that Quinn showed up early that day, pulling him out of bed and pushing him straight into the shower. Puck eyed Quinn suspiciously when he returned to his room to find that Quinn had chosen his outfit for the day as well.

"Is my hair and make-up next?"

"Ha-Ha. Now I'll be downstairs. Get dressed; you don't want to be late."

"Yes, mother." Puck said as the door shut behind Quinn.

Puck had been up late last night trying to find a song for Mr. Shuester's project. But he had finally decided on something that didn't require much other than himself and his guitar. He was happy that he finally had something to focus on, something he could use as a distraction. Even though Quinn wouldn't tell him who his partner was, he was looking forward to working on something. Puck finished getting dressed then for the first time in a while was eager when Quinn dragged him into the car and off to school, and off to Glee.

~~~~*~~~~

Puck got through the school day, but found it unusual when Mike, Matt, Santana and Brittney came to sit with him and Quinn during lunch. He even noticed that Finn looked at him and nodded instead of the usual death glare as he passed by in the hallway. Puck missed his best friend but that was the last thing he expected. When the bell rang alerting everyone of the end of the school day, Puck was surprised when he found Quinn waiting outside his classroom. She grabbed onto his hand and pulled him down the hallway.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Puck said trying to keep up with Quinn's speed.

"Making sure you don't run away." She called in front of him.

"I wasn't planning on it."

Quinn stopped them right outside the entrance to the auditorium opening the door, "Have fun, good luck, that sort of thing."

Quinn pushed Puck inside the auditorium, which was currently empty. Puck walked through the rows of seats until he reached the stage. Climbing up he put his guitar case and bag on top of the piano and stood there, waiting for his mystery partner.

Puck waited for ten minutes and still no one showed up. He thought about leaving, but he couldn't. Quinn drove to school today and whatever was driving her to get him in the auditorium definitely wasn't going to let him out of this. So he reluctantly grabbed one of the stools and pulled it center stage. If he was going to be stuck here, he was going to play some music. He hadn't stayed up putting this together for it not even be played. He opened his guitar case and took his guitar out, sitting down, and started playing.

_No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
And no one knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies_

Puck had found this song while going through an old play list on his ipod. He hadn't listened to this song is so long, because really, who listened to Limp Bizkit anymore? But Puck found comfort in the way the lyrics spoke what he was going through. And when he sang it last night, he realized what Rachel had said before about singing helping. He understood why she cried sometimes when she sang. Because songs and singing, was a way to express things that you were too afraid or unable to say otherwise. Puck thought he was being pretty smart when he realized that is why music is so popular and life changing, and all this other positive stuff.

_  
But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free_

This part of the song he wished Rachel could hear. To know that even though his brain was telling him that he was such a bad person for her, it wasn't how he wanted to feel. He wanted to tell her why he couldn't be with her, so that it would be easier for her, so that she could stop crying and maybe even date Finn if she wanted to. The idea of Rachel anywhere near Finn made his blood boil, but in Puck's mind, it had to be better than whatever would have happened to her with him. If the past month or so had proved anything, it was that Puck broke every thing he came in contact with. There was proof with Quinn, their daughter, Finn, whatever his relationship with Rachel was, he had destroyed by lying.

_No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you!  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through_

The tears fell slowly from Puck's eyes, the first time since the day he found out that he had lost his daughter that he had allowed himself to cry. It wasn't the Puck thing to do. But now, on this stage, alone, he was able to be Noah. He was able to stop fighting for just a moment, everything that he was, and be everything that he had become.

Puck strummed his guitar again, going to continue when he looked up into the auditorium and saw someone. He squinted against the bright lights, only made more intense by his tears, and saw the small brunette that had just moments ago occupied his thoughts standing just outside of where he used to hide to listen to her sing. Puck stopped his music and watched as Rachel came walking towards the stage. Was this his partner? There was no way because that meant Rachel Berry was late, and that never happened, ever.

Before Puck could realize what was going on, Rachel was already on stage with him. She was dressed in only jeans and a pink sweater and her hair fell in front of her face, but her eyes, her eyes had been made up, or they had been. She had been crying and some of the make-up had begun to smear.

"Hi," she said wiping at the tears.

"Hey, uh, how much of that did you see?"

"All of it."

"Oh, sorry."

"Why are you sorry Noah? Because you feeling something?"

"Something like that. I just don't do the whole crying in front of people thing. So about this duet thing for Glee. I'm assuming you're my partner."

"There is no duet for Glee Noah."

Puck looked at her curiously, "But Quinn said-"

"It was the only way we knew how to get you here. The only way you'd talk to me."

"Seriously? This was all just a game you girls were playing?"

"it's not a game Noah. It's our way or trying to help you."  
"I don't need help,"

"But you do. You're avoiding me. Quinn says that you're barely there anymore, that you're always stuck in your head."

"I've got a lot going on Rachel, that doesn't mean I need anyone's help. Thanks but no thanks." Puck said grabbing his stuff and walking past her.

"Remember when you told me that you thought you'd always be Puck? Here's your chance to prove that that isn't true."

"What do you want from me Rachel?" he said turning back to her.

"I want you to talk to me."

"I don't do chick talk."

"No one's here, Noah. Quinn locked the door, so no one is getting in until I text her. So no one will have to know that you weren't being a badass."

Puck gave her a look, "You don't want to do this Rachel. I screw up everything I touch. Quinn, the baby, Finn, you."

"You pushed me away Noah. And while I admit that my reaction to the news about Quinn was immature, I thought you knew that I was there for you."

"I did."

"Then-"

"Look, like I said, I screw things up. Everything really. And I wasn't going to do that to you anymore. I've done enough to you in the past. You've cried enough."

"Why didn't you just let me make that choice on my own? You would have seen that I saw things rather differently than you did."

"Because, when you looked at me, I saw pity in your eyes, and that's not why I wanted you with me."

Rachel let out a small laugh.

"Great, now you're laughing at me! Nice."

"I'm not laughing at you Noah. I'm laughing because all of this could have been avoided if you would have just talked to me. Instead you made it seem like you didn't want me at all."

"Of course I did." Puck whispered.

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Listen to something for me. I know Quinn had you put together that song earlier but I put one together as well, and I'd like you to listen to it."

Puck nodded and went to take a seat in the auditorium. Rachel gave him the best smile she could muster. Rachel went behind the piano and grabbed her ipod and speakers and Puck couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Rachel took her position in true Rachel Berry fashion in the center of the stage and looked at Puck, deep into his eyes. She was going to sing the song that she had accidentally found, but fallen in love with because of all the songs she sang, over the last few weeks, this one had touched her the most, even if it wasn't what she would traditionally sing, but she believed that singing what you felt was more important than anything else.

_Left your t-shirt in my room  
Still smells of you  
And the picture you hung on the door  
Lay smashed and picture perfect  
Explains now  
Clearly, nothing left but a memory_

Puck listened as through this song, Rachel brought up the day that he came looking for his shirt, and although he would never say any of this to anyone, he was more excited about seeing Rachel than getting the damn shirt back. That seemed like a lifetime ago now.

_  
We only made out  
You never kissed me  
That's how I learned to hold back all feeling_

Rachel never intended on singing this in front of Puck, but when Quinn had suggested that she use song to get to Puck, she knew this was the right song to do. This was the only way that she could get Puck to know exactly what she was feeling, in order for him to understand what she felt, the good and the bad.

_Wait, please don't go  
I won't stay  
All these words on replay  
I'm okay  
It's alright  
Good to know that you're fine_

Pretending everything is right to make it better  
I'll hide my make-up smeared eyes  
To show that I'm fine

Somehow you have managed to get under my skin  
More than anyone ever did  
And if every hole makes a scar  
And every scar marks it's place  
Then I will never live freely without your trace  
And it'll never be fair  
I wrote my songs for you and you never even cared  
So I'll forget you  
I'll wash your t-shirt  
And kill the pillow and  
Cut you out of pictures

Wait, please don't go  
I won't stay  
All these words on replay  
I'm okay  
It's all right  
Good to know that you're fine

Pretending everything is right to make it better  
I'll hide my make-up smeared eyes

Rachel opened her eyes when she felt the stage lighting dim. She looked to see Puck right in front of her, looking down on her and her tear stained face. Puck moved his arms and grabbed Rachel around the waist, pulling her against him.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Finally kissing you." he said leaning down and closed the space between their lips. Puck smiled when Rachel's arms went around his neck, deepening the kiss. In this moment, all the bad that had been swimming around in Puck's head for the last couple of weeks vanished. The only thing in Puck's mind was Rachel. Her kiss was even more therapeutic than her singing. His heart ached when he felt Rachel break the kiss. He kept his arms tightly around her waist, not willing to let her go just yet.

She looked up at him with her Rachel Berry smile from ear to ear, "See, not being a badass isn't so hard is it?"

He laughed and a smirk played along his lips pulling her a little closer to him, "I'm still a badass, babe."

Puck leaned in to capture Rachel's lips once more, "Should I text Quinn?" Rachel said.

"Don't even think of it," Puck said cupping Rachel's face in his hand kissing her again. While she deserved to be thanked for this later, right now he didn't have a single desire to leave the auditorium, and he wasn't letting Rachel go anytime soon.

"There still is a glee assignment that needs to get done." Rachel said.

"Rachel?" Puck said rolling his eyes at her comment.

"Yeah?"

"If I promise that we can work on this assignment will you just shut up and let me kiss you."

Leave it to Rachel Berry to think of glee in this moment but Puck was relieved when her hands ran over his Mohawk and kissed him. It had taken a moment Rachel realized in that moment, with Puck's arms around her, not a single song or trophy or dream was important in this moment, there was nothing in this world but Puck.

* * *

We finally got happy Puckleberry!!! I had a hard time figuring out how to end this chapter, so hopefully it satisfies everyone! Let me know what you think! Also, the first song was "Behind Blue Eyes" I used the Limp Bizkit version cause that's the one I had. And Rachel's song is called "Make-up Smeared Eyes" by Automatic Loveletter…if I was talented enough I'd mash-up the songs but I don't think I could do it justice (but I think it would be cool)

EDITING NOTE: I just made some minor changes to this chapter, I should have the final chapter up in a few days tops.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This is the final chapter…thank you everyone who read, reviewed, alerted this story. And since it is officially Christmas Eve…Happy Holidays! Oh, and I don't own any of this put since I'm mentioning holidays, Glee would be a great X-mas present!

* * *

Puck was only a little (a very little) upset when he picked Rachel up the Thursday morning for school and she was no longer in her jeans. While he adored the skirts she wore, it was a good change to see her in jean. It was as if the more clothes she wore, the more exposed, and real she was in front of him. But those short skirts were hot!

Today was the day that they were going to present their piece to Mr. Shuester that they wanted to perform at the showcase. They had spent some of the night on Tuesday and all of Wednesday rehearsing the song that Rachel thought was the perfect for them. Okay, maybe they weren't exactly rehearsing the whole time. Puck made Rachel promise that if they were going to do this that Rachel would have to create a schedule that incorporated time for both rehearsing and making out. Puck thought it wasn't evenly distributed but rolled his eyes and went back to rehearsing hoping there was more making out later.

Puck had thanked Quinn for her plan when Rachel finally text her to open the auditorium door. He had pulled the blonde into a tight hug that startled Quinn but she relaxed, grateful that her plan had worked. Rachel smiled at the three of them standing in the lobby of the auditorium. She was surprised that she could actually call Quinn her friend and Puck was hers, but something was missing that Rachel couldn't put her finger on. But she brushed it off because what was the most important in this moment was that Puck was back to his old self. Not entirely, because it was true, he had changed. Somewhere Puck knew that he would be Noah to Rachel, and some crazy concoction of Noah and Puck for everyone else; and he was okay with that. It didn't mean he wasn't still a badass.

After Puck helped Rachel out of his truck, they walked into the school hand in hand, instantly becoming the newest topic of gossip. Neither seemed to care and Puck pulled Rachel towards her locker, leaning against the wall as Rachel got the things she needed from her locker.

"I guess this whispering if better than the last time my name was circulating through the rumor mills,"

"Oh Noah, stop being so critical of yourself. They 're clearly talking about how its amazing that Rachel Berry managed to snag Noah Puckerman, a second time."

"I don't know if I should take that as you r ego beginning to grow or a vote of confidence."

"The latter for sure."

Puck reached over and grabbed Rachel's chin, moving her face so she was looking at him, "I don't deserve you," he said kissing her.

Rachel frowned, "Too bad, you're stuck."

"But really. I can't wait for someone to do something else scandalous so everyone would stop looking. I feel like I'm in a fishbowl or something."

"I'm just glad they've pretty much stopped staring at me," Quinn said walking up to the couple, "Who's ready for this afternoon?"

"You obviously are," Puck said.

"How can you not be? All the bad stuff that has been going on these last few months are behind us and you both will be blowing us all away I'm sure with your suggestion for regionals. Even though I'm still mad at both of you for not letting me in on your practice."

Rachel looked past Quinn to see that Finn was walking into the school. He looked at the three standing there and continued to walk down the hallway. Rachel realized then that that was the missing piece she had felt was missing, Finn.

"Have you talked to Finn yet?" Rachel asked Quinn.

"I've tried a hundred times. He sends my calls straight to voice mail and ignores my texts," Quinn took a deep breath, "but I just need to give him space, I don't deserve him to talk to me again so if he's going to come to me, I have to let him do it on his own time."

Rachel reached out and gave Quinn an inspiring pat on the shoulder. Who would have thought that Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry would be friends, and good ones at that?

"All right, too much of the heavy stuff. I'll see you both in Glee." Quinn said walking away quickly.

Rachel turned to Puck who reached down and grabbed her hand squeezing it gently.

"I feel so bad for her. We get to be happy, but she's still hurting so bad," Rachel spoke using her free hand to close her locker.

The two began moving towards their classes, hands intertwined.

"I know Finn well enough to know that he'll talk to her eventually. He just has to be mad for a little while," Puck said stopping outside Rachel's first class.

"What about the two of you? Do you think he'll ever talk to you again?"

Puck shrugged, "I don't know. I don't think so."

"Noah-"

Puck kissed her to cut her off, "No gloom today remember? I'll see you later."

Puck kissed her one more time before she hurried into the classroom.

~~~~*~~~~

With Puck and Rachel walking in hand in hand, everyone was gathered in the choir room for rehearsal. Moment's later Mr. Shuester walked into the room happy to see all twelve members of New Directions sitting in front of him.

"Alright guys. We have two weeks until the showcase and just three months until regionals. So I want to hear ideas for you guys about what you may want to perform."

Rachel raised her hand, "Yes Rachel." Mr. Shuester said afraid of what the brunette could be

"While you are well aware of my more than sixty-five proposals that I have for glee, Noah and I have a selection that we would like to perform for you that could be worked into our set-list for regionals."

Mr. Shuester had a confused look on his face, "Wait, who's performing?"

Rachel laughed a little at Mr. Shuester's inability to recognize her partner in this performance, "I'm sorry Mr. Shuester, Puck and I would like to perform our suggestion."

The confused look never left Mr. Shuester's face as he responded to Rachel, "Uh, fantastic, lets hear it." Mr. Shuester said going to sit next to the piano.

Rachel got up from her seat and looked down at Puck still sitting, looking up at her. She smiled and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly as she lead him off his chair and onto the two stools that Rachel had asked Quinn to place in front of piano before class had started. Puck grabbed his guitar on the way to sit down on the stool. Rachel gave him an assuring nod and Puck started strumming away the opening of the song.

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

As Puck sang, he looked at Rachel, only Rachel. She had done an amazing job choosing this song for them to perform, and Puck wanted to use this song, like he did wit h Sweet Caroline. He wanted to use it as a way to show Rachel that he was worth something, that maybe he maybe be worthy of all the praise she gave him, of all the good that she saw him would one day be the same thing he felt about himself.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

As Puck and Rachel came together for the chorus, Rachel thought that while they were singing about being broken, neither of them was, at least not anymore. Rachel fully believed that all of her problems could be overcome, just as long as she had her Noah. Rachel thought for a second that maybe that belief was a little unrealistic, but the romantic in her fought against the realist in her and thought for now, she could be allowed to think that way as she took over the next verse:

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

Just as Puck had done during his verse, Rachel sang straight to the man next to her, so happy to be able to sing with him, to be with him, to love him. It was true, and strange, and a bunch of other words that escaped Rachel in that moment, but she was in love with Noah Puckerman. And as she looked straight into his eyes, she thought maybe the look he had now, was his love for her trying to take her over.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

As their voices came together a final time for the chorus, they looked back into the audience of glee members. Rachel noticed Quinn was crying and Finn looked a bit uncomfortable, but the rest of the Glee club watched in amazement and Rachel was proud of herself and of Noah for coming this far, and despite the bad blood that still ran between some of the members of the club, everyone was able to come together, for music, and maybe (and Rachel really hoped she was right) they came together for each other, because they were deep down, a family; and if there was ever a reason to band together, family was it.

As they finished singing, the room held a silence for a moment before the club roared into applause and even a standing ovation. Rachel even saw that Mr. Shuester had a very big smile on his face and was clapping along with everyone else. She turned to Puck who had just finished placing his guitar against the stool and launched herself into his arms, holding on tightly. Puck held her around the waist, pulling her off the ground and twirled her around. Putting her back down, Puck captured Rachel's lips for a kiss and Puck couldn't help but smile as the applause from their friends got louder. Puck broke the kiss but as Rachel noticed the attention their kiss had gotten she hid her reddening face into Puck's chest. Puck held his arms tightly around Rachel as Mr. Shuester calmed down the group.

"That was-that was amazing guys. That will definitely go into consideration for regionals, but I think for sure that should be featured in the showcase. What do you guys think?"

Rachel pulled herself from her hiding spot and looked up to Puck, looking for his answer. Puck nodded at Rachel, and then Rachel turned to Mr. Shuester giving them their final answer. With weeks until the showcase, and months to regionals, and with Finn not talking to Puck, Rachel or Quinn, everyone in New Directions knew it would be a long hard journey, but still it would be a journey together, and nothing was more exciting than that.

* * *

A/N: The song is "Broken" by Seether ft. Amy Lee. So I realize I kind of leave a lot of unanswered questions and unexplored topics, but that is because there will be a sequel to this story. I knew before I even got to the end of this that there was a lot more to tell, however, this story wasn't the place to do it. This story, and this song "Make-up Smeared Eyes", which is where the story title came from was about Puck and Rachel, however, the sequel which right now is titled "Cry Until We See" will feature more of the members of New Directions, especially Quinn and Finn…I hope you all tune in to read that as well….again I thank you and as a goodbye to this please read and review…let me know what you think and if you actually want this story to continue.


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